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Things that would have rolled off your shoulders before your deployment now make you blow up. Everyone moves too slowly. No one works hard enough or does the job right. You snap at your kids at the drop of a hat.

Anger is common among returning veterans, especially those already dealing with other symptoms of combat stress. The good news is that this is normal. Anger among Vets is often a reaction to the arousal and aggression needed in combat. You're put into dangerous situations, and you need to assess that danger and diffuse it, using aggression when necessary - no room there for thinking about emotions. You're also angry about things that happened during combat, and how you've been treated since you've been home.

So, anger is normal. But that doesn't make it any less disruptive once you get back to civilian life. Your spouse, your kids, your friends, your coworkers, the other people on the bus with you? They're not your troops, and treating them like you're in battle can cause problems. Angry outbursts can damage relationships with your family and friends, and can put your professional life in jeopardy. For those reasons, it's important to learn how to control your anger, and keep from acting on it without thinking. We've come up with a step-by-step process to help you out:

1. Identify what makes you angry. Try to figure out what your triggers are, your hot buttons. If these triggers happen in situations that are avoidable, try to stay away from them as much as possible.
2. Notice the way your body reacts to becoming angry. Does your jaw tighten, or do your fists begin to clench? By learning how you physically react to anger, you can teach yourself to notice an angry episode as it begins. That way, you'll be more likely to prevent it from escalating.
3. Create a plan for times when you can't avoid a situation that triggers your anger. Come up with an exit strategy, and draft what you'll say to get out of the situation. It's hard to think clearly when you're angry, but if you already have a plan on hand for when you things get heated, you'll be less likely to act in a way that you might regret.
4. When you notice that you're becoming angry, put your plan in motion. Try to remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible. Explain to the other person why you are leaving, and then go somewhere where you can cool down. Take deep breaths, punch a pillow if you need to, and ask yourself what you're really mad about. Is it the situation that's making you angry? Or are you misdirecting your anger over something else?
5. Once you've taken some time to let your anger dissipate, think about what happened, and what you should do. This is different than stewing about it - don't focus on how the other person has wronged you, but focus on how you can find a solution. Was it irritation that you would be better off letting go, or is it a significant issue that needs a solution? If it's the former, try to let it go. If it's the latter, plan out what you want to say and do about the situation.
6. Once you've cooled down have a plan, you're ready to return to the situation. This is an important step, because managing your anger is not about avoiding with problems altogether - it's about giving yourself a chance to resolve problems with reasoning, instead of with angry outbursts.

The more you work to manage your anger, the more successful you'll be. This'll probably be difficult the first few times - so don't get discouraged. View it as practice catching your anger as it develops and calming yourself down before it escalates. Little by little, you'll get better at keeping the aggression on the battlefield, and out of your home life.