Community: Blogs

Since posting a blog post on managing anger, we've gotten a pretty big response from vets who've been battling a short fuse - and we've heard from a few who find themselves lashing out at their significant other upon waking up from a nightmare. I recently answered a fellow vet dealing with this, so I thought I'd pass the tips on to you. Just to clarify, these tips are for lashing out because of emotional anger - not as part of a PTSD flashback.

So, you've been exploding at your significant other after a bad dream - or you've been dealing with more angry outbursts since you've been back, and this seems like something that could happen to you. To begin with, what you're experiencing is a completely normal. You're keyed-up from your nightmare - you're in fighting mode, like you were trained to be in combat, so it's understandable that you've responded by lashing out.

It's often hard for Veterans to let other people give them a hand - that's one reason you're becoming angry at your significant other when he or she tries to comfort you. Try to start letting people support you, in various areas of your life - it'll get yourself started feeling comfortable about it. Coming to Vets Prevail was a great first step!

First of all, find a time when you're calm to talk to your significant other. Explain that you know that your anger shouldn't be directed at him or her, but that sometimes it takes a little while to come down from your nightmare. Talk about how he or she can support you while giving you space to calm down. Then, use the techniques that we listed above to train yourself to manage your anger.  Take deep breaths, and try to focus on calming yourself down first, and responding to your partner second.

If that plan doesn't help you out, consider seeking face-to-face therapy. If you're okay with it, bring your significant with you. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it will help get you on the right path toward managing your anger - and will help you both to understand what you're going through.

Good luck - we hope this helps you out. If you have questions, that's what we're here for. We've set up a forum thread for questions about managing anger - check it out here.